It is so common for parents of biological children to feel that the problem in the relationship between their kids and the stepparent belongs to the person in the step position.
“If they were only nicer, kinder, more understanding, or more forgiving,” they think, “things wouldn’t be such a big deal.”
When you first started out, you likely made sure to take the time needed to go on dates, spend quality time together and get to know each other. Once you said, “I do,” you probably breathed a sigh of relief thinking you’d never have to date again. You were wrong.
One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to have weekly date nights. No matter how much you have going on during the week, how long you’ve been together, how many kids you have, or how much you hated dating when you were single, there is no excuse to not take an evening out of the week to reconnect with your partner.
It’s May, the month of Mother’s Day. While mothers all over the country are looking forward to celebrating this day with their children, many stepmoms are left wondering how and where they fit in.
Being a stepmother is by far the hardest role in the stepfamily system. And this isn’t just a two-time stepmother telling you that — it’s what a study of 1,400 stepfamilies discovered. While being a stepfather is difficult as well, stepmothers can receive a level of anger from stepchildren and ex-spouses that stepfathers rarely experience.
You’ve pictured it since you met your new partner: the marriage, the children, a cozy home together.
You never thought of all the things that could disrupt this idyllic picture: the chance that your stepchildren won’t like you, the ex that will not seem to disappear, and the challenges of parenting a stepchild.
Entering into a stepfamily often means entering into many unrealistic fantasies. Below are five common fantasies you may have that often create disappointment in a stepfamily.
“I don’t understand how she cannot love Isabel (8). I know she’s acting out a lot of anger about the divorce, but she’s so loving and adorable!”
It is said that nobody can truly love a child like a child’s own parents. We were the ones who saw how precious they were as infants, and who they needed and depended upon growing up. We were the ones feeling pride at each and every milestone, as if our kids were the only children learning to turn over, crawl, and walk. And we fell in love completely the first moment we heard the words “mama” and “dada.”
This love we have for our children is often so powerful that we cannot imagine how a new spouse, who professes to love us so much, does not feel the same way.