What does it take to be a good team player — whether at your job or in your family life? Well, to be a good team player, it takes the ability to have openness, generosity, flexibility, and patience. And nowhere are these skills more needed than in stepfamily life.
Here are some ways to be sure you’re being the best team player in your stepfamily that you can be:
When you first started out, you likely made sure to take the time needed to go on dates, spend quality time together and get to know each other. Once you said, “I do,” you probably breathed a sigh of relief thinking you’d never have to date again. You were wrong.
One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to have weekly date nights. No matter how much you have going on during the week, how long you’ve been together, how many kids you have, or how much you hated dating when you were single, there is no excuse to not take an evening out of the week to reconnect with your partner.
Fans of Mad Men watched the season end with Betty Draper deciding to leave her philandering, lying, cheating, dishonest, albeit absolutely gorgeous, husband Don. With three children in tow, she is off to Reno with the new man in her life to obtain a “quickie” divorce – in those days, six weeks of residency establishes a divorce with no contest.
Will she quickly move into the arms of the man who is there to rescue her? A man she barely knows and with whom no significant conversation has taken place?
And it’s easy for a stepparent to become resentful about running an entire household while helping raise another person’s children or feeling like they are being taken for granted.
A new year is here — a year to spend time strengthening your stepfamily, overcoming obstacles, and taking advantage of all the information out there on stepfamily life, including this wonderful magazine, StepMom Magazine.
If you haven’t noticed, this past year has seen a burgeoning of information about stepfamily life. This is such an amazing time because, up until now, everything about living in a stepfamily has been suffered through silently by most of us living in it. No one to talk to. No one who really gets it. No understanding of what the issues are and how to talk to our husbands (or wives if you’re a stepdad). No certainty that if we agree to be a part of the life of someone with children, we can demand that they go on this journey with us. (We go with them, but we also need them to go with us).