Sometimes just hearing what someone else has to say helps so much! I encourage you to write down your own experiences and send them to us. It’s wonderful and healing when you come to realize that whatever you are going through, someone else is going through the same thing. It is my hope to make this site informative and helpful in your journey.
The StepFamily Center is dedicated to strengthening couples so they can successfully meet the challenges of the stepfamily experience!
Navigating stepfamily life can be difficult for everybody involved – the stepparents, the stepchildren, and the biological parents. We attempt to answer some commonly asked questions about everybody’s role in a stepfamily.
Healing the Stepfamily from the inside out.
5. Consider empathy. Try to realize that, though your anger and resentment may be valid, your partner and stepchildren may be doing the best that they can and have no idea how it is affecting you. Consider that your stepkids have been hurt and damaged by the divorce of their parents and try to relate to them from that perspective. And consider that your partner is doing the best they can, and try to give them the benefit of the doubt instead of getting angry.
6. Learn to be flexible. It’s likely your position isn’t set in stone (is it really important that the dishwasher be loaded a certain way?), so try and be flexible about things that aren’t that important to you or your family. Begin to rate how important something is to you. Everything can’t be a 10, but when something is, you can hold your position. Being in any family is about compromise if you want to live without constant anger and resentment.
7. Try changing one assumption. For instance, change the idea that your stepson is a rude person to the idea that your stepson sometimes acts rudely but, other times, he does try. If you can change the assumption that he’s a rude person, you may find your way through your anger.
8. Practice forgiveness. Why is what you are getting angry or resentful about important to you? Instead of holding onto these emotions, forgive the people in your life. When you forgive them, you free yourself from holding onto anger and resentment and allow yourself to find more joy in your life.
Our bodies can only hold so much emotion. If they are holding anger and resentment, it will suppress joy and happiness. Both cannot really co-exist. The more you let go of anger and resentment, the more you can experience joy and happiness and, after all, isn’t that a better way to live?
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